Tagged: Sexual Violence

As part of my recurring male survivor class, I recently started talking about the difference between activism and advocacy. For male survivors, incompetence among activists is a frequent source of revictimization and victim-shaming. Soooo...

  Okay. I started working on this book about 5 or 6 years ago or so and had to shelve it (pun intended) due to working 2 full-time jobs, 1 in workforce development for...

The Thing About Being Heard When I initially broke my silence in 2008, I was scoffed at, belittled, victim-shamed, and mocked…by alleged allies involved in anti-sexual violence activism. Yes, really. Activists are not necessarily...

The Thing About Forced Arousal Often when someone hears about a man being sexually assaulted by a woman, the inappropriate comments and questions begin: Why did you have an erection? They are not magical...

Malignant Activism Frequently, social media discussions of male survivor concerns are met with derision from gender focused sexual violence activists. These activists often object to any mention of male victimization – by anyone –...

Impacts and Outcomes One of the most surprising outcomes of my sexual violence activism and advocacy work has been academic and media recognition of that work. One unexpected example was the inclusion of my...

Today is a lazy Sunday with a hot mug of French Roast from Lidl and a slice of apple pie while watching old Law and Order: SVU reruns in the background. I’ve seen most...

Sneaky Trauma Responses Responses to sexual assault can manifest in many unexpected ways. Sometimes, you don’t even realize a response has been triggered. During the rape I experienced in 1990, my brain dissociated as...

My Rapist’s Imaginary Tragic Backstory Upon first telling my story publicly in June 2008, I was quickly confronted with a ridiculous idea. Internet activists arrogantly informed me that my female rapist couldn’t have done...