The Thing About Being Heard When I initially broke my silence in 2008, I was scoffed at, belittled, victim-shamed, and mocked…by alleged allies involved in anti-sexual violence activism. Yes, really. […]
Read moreTag: Sexual Violence
Sexual, racial, gender violence and other forms of discrimination and violence in a culture cannot be eliminated without changing culture. – Charlotte Bunch
The Thing About Forced Arousal
The Thing About Forced Arousal Often when someone hears about a man being sexually assaulted by a woman, the inappropriate comments and questions begin: Why did you have an erection? […]
Read moreMalignant Activism
Malignant Activism Frequently, social media discussions of male survivor concerns are met with derision from gender focused sexual violence activists. These activists often object to any mention of male victimization […]
Read moreImpacts and Outcomes
Impacts and Outcomes One of the most surprising outcomes of my sexual violence activism and advocacy work has been academic and media recognition of that work. One unexpected example was […]
Read moreHealing is Not Linear
Today is a lazy Sunday with a hot mug of French Roast from Lidl and a slice of apple pie while watching old Law and Order: SVU reruns in the […]
Read moreSneaky Trauma Responses
Sneaky Trauma Responses Responses to sexual assault can manifest in many unexpected ways. Sometimes, you don’t even realize a response has been triggered. During the rape I experienced in 1990, […]
Read moreMy Rapist’s Imaginary Tragic Backstory
My Rapist’s Imaginary Tragic Backstory Upon first telling my story publicly in June 2008, I was quickly confronted with a ridiculous idea. Internet activists arrogantly informed me that my female […]
Read moreTaking Back Power
She kept me silent for 18 years. After that, the next 16 years have been a whirlwind. Since initially telling my story publicly in June 2008, I’ve dealt with a […]
Read moreUnsupportive Activism
As a male survivor of a female rapist, I’ve heard so many inconsiderate, incompetent and incredulous things from activists. When a male survivor’s story is discussed in the media or […]
Read moreInappropriate Sexual Reactions
As a male survivor of a female rapist, perverse sexual reactions have become an expected nuisance: Women have asked if I and my rapist orgasmed – and how. Seriously, they […]
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