Category: Blog, Commentary and Articles
Body Betrayal and Sexual Assault
#SAAM2020 A common way survivors are shamed is by focusing on their body’s response to sexual violence. Some things that I’ve had to accept: The woman who raped me was aroused. She enjoyed what she...
Aimee Mann Self-Care Break
Aimee Mann fronting ‘Til Tuesday in their debut single and video. Still sounds good decades later.
Body Shaming as a Male Survivor
#SAAM2020 As a male survivor, I am constantly lectured by alleged allies on how easy I have it because no one asks “what were you wearing.” First, that isn’t really true. Second, that dishonestly skews...
Crime Exists Independent of Courts
#SAAM2020 Pro-Tip: Rape is still rape, whether a judge, jury, prosecutor, or police officer signed off on it. Reality exists independent of the legal system, which fails more often than not with regard to...
Sexual Grieving and Healing
#SAAPM – An early part of healing is having no idea how to start. After I was raped, I engaged in some dangerous and risky behaviors: Reckless promiscuity with significantly older women (10 – 20+...
Reflections on a Decade of Advocacy
After over a decade of work in sexual violence advocacy, I’ve accomplished much and accepted the ugliness: Being dismissed by ideologues solely on the basis of gender, both mine and that of my perpetrator....
Allies Listen…
Some of the more annoying things about being a male survivor of a female rapist in the public eye are: Fixation on the genital aspects of the rape. Aggressive demands for “explanations”. Tone-policing from...
Comparative Justice Hot Takes Are Still Rape Apologia
Weinstein got 23 years. Meanwhile, Cosby and R. Kelly apologists are sitting in stunned silence. All of their lying exposed to the world: They said there were no charges – that was a lie....