Patriotic Meltdowns Be The Bestest

No Tantrums

I really can’t keep track of who is going to move to Canada (‘cuz marriage equality); who is leaving Facebook to go back to MySpace (‘cuz too many meanies disagree with my crazy bullshit posts and fact-check me); who is going to pick up guns and then get on a bus so they can march around Chicago picking fights (‘cuz just talking out my ass, not gonna actually put down my beer can); who is going to war against “Jade Helm” (‘cuz conspiracy websites all be true); and who is going to join one of the modern competing versions of the Klan (‘cuz I’m not racist, I just hate the blacks and stuff).

Yes, I have seen all of that ridiculous shit and repeatedly over the last few months from “patriots”.

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