I've been reading blogs more frequently as of late. Apparently, I've got that kind of time. 🙂 My most recent blog entries have been in response to other bloggers. This entry is different as I am responding to comments made on other blogs:
The Thang Blog
Nix, whining that male survivors get mentioned at all in discussions about rape, left the following comment on a blog entry about "Schrodingers Rapist":
Most rapists are cis men, most victims are not cis men. Rape culture (which is heteronormative) is one in which men are encouraged to believe that they are entitled to the time, energy, conversations and bodies of other people – particularly women (and children). You must be aware of what signals you are sending, and in what environment is right – and if men don’t want to be assumed to be rapists then they/we need to actively combat rape culture, and make sure they/we are not acting in ways that presume entitlement. Unlike the "Muslims" or "black men" in the alternative situations outlined, in the situation of rape men are the privileged ones in the position of power.
So, OK, create a set of "non-gendered" "equal" rules so as not to hurt straight cis men’s feelings, but we do not live in a "non-gendered" "equal" society, and that is something that the comment fails to acknowledge.
Nix, use of non-gendered language is not about not hurting men’s feelings. I find that statement highly minimizing and almost mocking of male survivors. As a survivor of a female rapist, far more than my "feelings" were hurt when she raped me. My trust, my sense of self ownership and part of my soul died that day. Please try to remember that real people are involved, not just social and political points on a metaphorical scoreboard. Male survivors and even female survivors of female predators are done sitting quietly in the corner. You can either be our allies or get used to being called out as a rape apologist.
That's What Ze Said
Corvus, relegating male survivors to nothing but an annoying distraction, on "Rape is not gender-specific":
I think one thing is a little off in your post- while ALL types and genders of people do experience rape, the vast majority of people who perpetuate rape are men. Yes, sometimes women and other genders do rape. But most of the time, rape comes from male dominance and patriarchal propnents who are usually men.
The whole "women rape, too" thing is something often used by male rape culture apologists to minimize the role men have to play in fighting rape culture.
Corvus, while some apologists may use such an argument for their own purposes, there are also some men who mention it because it applies to their own experiences. I am a male rape survivor of a female rapist. We exist and deserve to be treated like fellow human beings and survivors worthy of respect and compassion. We are not a derailment or socio-political argument or anything else. We live and we breath and should be considered allies, not treated like an affront to the experiences of female survivors.
The Pursuit of Harpyness
In response to a blog entry titled "Redefining Rape: More Important Than Jobs", Mischiefmanager said:
"Think we’d be seeing the same kind of thing if male rape victims could get pregnant?"
Nope, the politicians would just continue to ignore us or openly mock us, like 99% of society. Per the norm. Any type of hierarchy of survivorhood is an insult to all survivors, regardless of gender or circumstance with regard to their attacks and attackers.
Relevant Links:
- http://fridaythang.com/blog/2011/01/14/schrodingers-rapist/
- http://mnomedenimp.wordpress.com/2011/01/29/rape-is-not-gender-specific/
- http://www.harpyness.com/2011/01/31/redefining-rape-more-important-than-jobs/