An Education in the Politics of Rape

It has only been 24 hours since I went public with my story. I had emailed Dr. Helen Smith several weeks ago to thank her for a posting she had done on predatory women, which was useful to me as I began to deal with the facts of my own rape.  I shared my story with Dr. Smith and she asked if she could write an article about it.  I consented.  The article was written weeks ago, but only published on Monday, June 30.  She did not know I would feel strong enough to publish the details of my rape today as well, as her article had been written well in advance of yesterday's publication date.  Dr. Smith's article, changing many details to protect my identity, was published here:

http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/ask-dr-helen-can-a-man-be-raped-by-a-woman/

Well, it has been a shitstorm of ignorance and stereotypes ever since it went live.

Apparently, some of PJMs more unenlighted readers claim I wasn't raped because:

• I am able to write in coherent and descriptive sentences.  I wrote the story of my attack too well and used too many descriptive words to document what happened. Apparently, being able to actually use language for its intended purpose – communication – makes one a liar.
• My rapist had a vagina.
• I was drunk, so that means anyone can do anything they want to me.
• My rapist had a vagina.
• I had an erection and wasn't shy about mentioning it as I thought it was relevant to how my rapist was able to mount me.
• My rapist had a vagina.
• I wasn't beaten to a pulp or restrained with violence.
• My rapist had a vagina.
• I wrote about the attack publicly, so I must be lying. Survivors are all supposed to be meek and shy. No one is supposed to speak out or show any strength publicly.  If you do, you will be punished by the mob.
• And, of course, my rapist had a vagina.

All in all, I was pretty disgusted with most of them today – until later in the day when actual adults began to post. Further, I've received some encouraging private emails and made several new contacts.  Thankfully, several commenters have called the mob out on their bigotry, hate and logic errors.

The short of it is that they've failed to silence me and they've failed to intimidate me.  I'm not going anywhere and I'm not going to shut up to make the troglodytes feel better about themselves.  I meant what I said in my last posting.  I'm in this for the long-term and I'm not going to be sheepish or scared just because some idiots think rape is funny and cute.

I just hope that another man has the courage to admit what happened to him as a result, rather than being intimidated into silence by the mindless mob. I've been beaten up pretty badly by the knuckle-draggers today. I expected such abuse. I'm not going anywhere and I'm not shutting up so that they can go back to pretending this doesn't happen. I'm going to continue to be an inconvenient voice about this topic – and I know you wouldn't expect any less from me.

UPDATE:

Apparently, a dishonest blogger named Roy Edroso has decided I am not a real man and decided to mock me for being raped.  And he thinks this is funny.  Wow.  Yeah Roy, rape is fucking hilarious and so is questioning someone's manhood for seeking counseling.  I guess this makes him feel like a real man to mock me and put me in my place.  First, he changes key details in what happened to me, leaves out relevant facts that explain what was happening and he then pretends to quote me while completely changing what I said so that the meaning will fit his poorly constructed strawman.  This is the height of childish behaviour and cyber-bullying.

As he loves to put quotes from his critics on his website, I suggest this one:  "Roy Edroso thinks mocking rape survivors is funny."  Post that one Roy.

Related Links:

Admitting It: When a Woman is the Rapist:  https://jameslandrith.com/content/view/3148/79/

An Education in the Politics of Rape: https://jameslandrith.com/content/view/3149/79/

Action vs. Acting Out: https://jameslandrith.com/content/view/3152/79/