I was booked for a Take Back The Night event on October 14th. The faculty sponsor and the chair of the event were both excited to have a male speaker as they've not had one for a TBTN event in the past. The marching portion of the event at Randolph College (formerly Randolph-Macon Women's College – now coed) was rained out, but a modified program was conducted indoors at the Student Center.
Given that the event was scheduled for 7:00 pm and I had to drive three and a half hours to get there, I expected to be tired. Fortunately, the campus coffee shop was still open so I got my medicine and was refreshed and ready to talk. I started out the night introduced as the RAINN Speakers Bureau speaker and talked about my own experiences and healing process, covered several myths about rape and survivors (provided by members of Pandys, MaleSurvivor and DailyStrength), took questions afterward for several minutes and then the mic was opened up for student participation. The majority of questions had to do with my experiences as a male survivor of a female rapist.
As is typical at such events, several students came forward and shared their own stories. After hearing me talk about the woman who raped me, one of the attendees of the event came forward to discuss how her female best friend abused and eventually raped her in middle school. She angrily shared that she had never talked about it before because she was told what a lot of people are told and unfortunately many believe – that girls and women don't commit rape or sexual abuse. A male attendee also related being abused by his female babysitter as a child, something he had never talked about publicly. I gave him my card and let him know he can contact me when and if he is ready to talk about it further. Several women talked about their experiences with CSA at the hands of male family members or teachers.
Listening to the stories is always hard, but inspiring, especially when someone breaks the silence for the first time. I am proud of all of them for showing up and for those who bravely got behind the microphone and shared their pain publicly. It was a very emotional 3 hours and I think nearly everyone cried at some point during the night.
A student from the college newspaper was present to cover the event. I gave her my card, answered a few followup questions and asked her to email me the story when it was published.
I slept in the next day after as I didn't get back until after 1:00 am. Seven hours of driving and three hours of highly emotional and triggering discussion was very draining. I am tentatively booked as a speaker for a RAINN Day event at another Virginia college. They are still working out the date and other details. I will post a recap following that event.