As a male survivor of a female rapist, female skeptics have asked me very invasive questions: Did my rapist orgasm? How? Did I have an erection? How did it work […]
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Tag: Sexual Violence
Sexual, racial, gender violence and other forms of discrimination and violence in a culture cannot be eliminated without changing culture. – Charlotte Bunch
Campus Sexual Assault
#SAAPM – According to the Association of American Universities (2020 study), 13% of all college students experience some form of sexual violence. While I have separately talked about my experience of […]
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Real, Actual Grooming
There is a lot of talk about grooming lately, especially by extremists pushing an agenda of hate. These are a few examples from my life, but the folks who push […]
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Ally Failures
NOTE: This will not be everyone’s experience, but it has been mine repeatedly since going public about my own experience in 2008. This is my actual, lived experience and I […]
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Your Triggers
Whenever there is a discussion of trauma and triggers online, a cabal of internet tough guys and conservative mommies come screaming in to mock the idea of giving a shit […]
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Faux Sexual Violence Advocacy
There are many unpaid, hard-working advocates and activists within sexual violence advocacy circles. So much crucial work is done on local levels – unpaid and outside of normal working hours. […]
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Your Survivor Story
#SAAPM: As a survivor with a public story, I’ve learned a few things since first breaking my silence in 2008: 1 – You don’t owe anyone your story. 2- You […]
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That “Whore” Thing
“He must have been a giant #whore.” – 1/11/2013 Twitter comment about my rape by “Alice” The thing about that bit of victim-shaming is that I didn’t become promiscuous until after […]
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Appearance =/= Consent
A demoralizing aspect of being a survivor in the media are trolls. This is a photo of me, taken less than a year after I was raped in 1990. When […]
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Sympathy for the Rapist
As soon as people learned that my rapist was a woman, they crawled out from under rocks to tell me that I “owed” my rapist compassion because she “must’ve been […]
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