The Thing About Brutal Honesty When someone brags about being “brutally honest”, I hear the clear emphasis on the “brutally” portion of that statement. What I’ve learned from “brutally honest” people: Their “honesty” is...
Malignant Activism Frequently, social media discussions of male survivor concerns are met with derision from gender focused sexual violence activists. These activists often object to any mention of male victimization – by anyone –...
Impacts and Outcomes One of the most surprising outcomes of my sexual violence activism and advocacy work has been academic and media recognition of that work. One unexpected example was the inclusion of my...
Today is a lazy Sunday with a hot mug of French Roast from Lidl and a slice of apple pie while watching old Law and Order: SVU reruns in the background. I’ve seen most...
Sneaky Trauma Responses Responses to sexual assault can manifest in many unexpected ways. Sometimes, you don’t even realize a response has been triggered. During the rape I experienced in 1990, my brain dissociated as...
My Rapist’s Imaginary Tragic Backstory Upon first telling my story publicly in June 2008, I was quickly confronted with a ridiculous idea. Internet activists arrogantly informed me that my female rapist couldn’t have done...
She kept me silent for 18 years. After that, the next 16 years have been a whirlwind. Since initially telling my story publicly in June 2008, I’ve dealt with a substantial amount of public...
As a male survivor of a female rapist, I’ve heard so many inconsiderate, incompetent and incredulous things from activists. When a male survivor’s story is discussed in the media or online, abusive individuals within...
Friday afternoon admin soundtrack.
As a male survivor of a female rapist, perverse sexual reactions have become an expected nuisance: Women have asked if I and my rapist orgasmed – and how. Seriously, they wanted details. No, it...
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