As a male survivor of a female rapist, I’ve heard so many inconsiderate, incompetent and incredulous things from activists. When a male survivor’s story is discussed in the media or online, abusive individuals within activist circles surface by:
- Focusing on the gender of the rapist in order to deflect the conversation away when a male survivor is being discussed.
- Incompetently claiming that male survivors do not get victim blamed if clothing was not the focus of the blame.
- Telling male survivors they are privileged and don’t need help.
- Assuming that if you are not at risk of an unwanted pregnancy from rape then you were not harmed. Yes, that happened – to me.
- Using out-dated or cherry-picked stats that intentionally ignore how most men and boys experience sexual violence.
I spent several years working in activist circles before switching to professional advocacy. I witnessed all of this behavior and more from alleged allies and coworkers alike. Activists, do better.
