#SAAPM – According to the Association of American Universities (2020 study), 13% of all college students experience some form of sexual violence. While I have separately talked about my experience of rape at the hands of a woman, I am going to discuss my own campus experiences with sexual violence:
1988 (17 years old) – Aggravated sexual contact by a female student (stranger) on the campus of Illinois Central College. I froze when this stranger aggressively groped me on campus. There was no warning and she didn’t speak until she was almost finished. I do not even know her name.
1990 (19 years old) – Two instances of aggravated sexual contact by 2 female acquaintances on the campus of UNC-Wilmington. I froze initially, then asked why it was happening. These women were friends of my then girlfriend. I very likely would have been blamed had I told her. I still don’t have an explanation as to why.
What I did not do during either of the 3 incidents was respond with violence to stop it, report it, or seek resources. Who was I going to report to in 1988 or 1990? Men were told they don’t experience sexual violence and that women are NEVER the perpetrators. Reporting was not an option. Resources were often discriminatory based on gender and male survivors are frequently treated as de facto perpetrators when they were actually victims.
Thankfully, there are reporting options in 2024 regardless of gender identity. While the resources and reporting processes are far from perfect and there are absolutely blindspots, help is far more available than it was when I experienced my own assaults. Whether it is Title IX Coordinators, campus police, victim advocates, or other designated resources you can seek assistance. You deserve help.
