Author Alyson Miers had this to say about the young man from Toronto, who was gang-raped and victim-blamed:
It’s not often that we hear about a case of a guy being raped by a woman (or several women), and with attitudes like these, is it any wonder that male rape victims are generally not interested in reporting their assaults? A male victim of female assailants can expect to be told that there’s no such thing as female-on-male rape (because men are always open to sex, donchaknow), that he’s probably gay and therefore should be ashamed (because it would be okay for those women to force themselves on a straight guy?), that the important thing is not that he didn’t consent but that the women were fat (because it would be impossible for him not to consent if the women were skinny?), that he’s reporting the rape to cover up that he cheated on his partner (because women can never be aggressors and men can never be victims), and that he should be embarrassed about this happening to him and should not bother anyone with his complaints.
I thank Alyson for writing about this topic and doing so with compassion for the survivor. Like the young man from Toronto, I was raped by a woman. I know all about the ridiculous gender policing that keeps male survivors silent and ashamed. I spoke out publicly and paid a huge price for it. I'm still going through hell on that front. You spoke mountains of truth above. I've heard them all: erections = consent, men can't be raped, women don't rape, no "real" man would complain, etc.
There are a lot of evil, disgusting people in this world. In some ways, I hate the victim-blamers worse than the woman who raped me. At least she only got to hurt me for about 18 hours before growing tired of me. The victim-blamers keep coming back for more. Ugh.
I really shouldn't have to say it, but given how many people are quick to mock and vilify male survivors who speak out, I wanted to highlight a woman who showed compassion and didn't use the experiences of male survivors to score political points or try to show that female survivors have it worse.
Thank you Alyson, you are a decent human being and I appreciate that you took the time to speak out for male survivors.
James Landrith is a healing rape survivor, public speaker, internationally syndicated blogger, civil liberties activist and the notorious editor and publisher of The Multiracial Activist (ISSN: 1552-3446) and The Abolitionist Examiner (ISSN: 1552-2881). Landrith can be reached by email at: james@jameslandrith.com or at his personal website/blog.