Mom-Blog on Todd Akin and Rape: What did you say??
I’m not at all happy what’s going on with politics lately. I’m supposed to keep quiet and say things like, “There’s no war on women,” “Chik-Fil-A is allowed to do what they want,” and “Oh, stop being so picky about what politician say, it doesn’t matter, and look at what they do.”
The thing is, it DOES matter. Word always matter, and when we live in a day and age when Spin rules our decisions, they matter even more.
Todd Akin is utter wingnuttery. He has been for a long, long time. This level of stupidity on his part is not new. He needs to be turned into Citizen Akin once and for all. I am encouraged that there is still some humanity left in the human race by the outpouring of disgust for his comments.
First of all, from what I understand from doctors [pregnancy from rape] is really rare,” Akin told KTVI-TV in an interview posted Sunday. “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”
As a male rape survivor, I have to disagree with Mom-Blog on the following statement though:
Specifically, it demeans women, because we don’t hear these words in describing male rape, that’s always honest, forcible, and legitimate.
It definitely degardes women, there is absolutely no question about that. However, it is utter nonsense to claim that the experiences of male rape survivors are "always" considered "honest, forcible, and legitimate." Does she actually know any male rape survivors and what we endure on a regular basis?
When we aren't outright mocked, we are being told we "wanted it", "should have fought it off" and that our erections during rape meant that we were really homosexuals and enjoyed it so it wasn't rape-rape. If our predators where female, we are told we were lucky or that we couldn't possibly be straight for refusing sex from a woman – like – EVER. Oh yeah, and then we are told that men can't be raped. Then they laugh in our faces. Again.
It is completely untrue and quite harmful to male rape survivors to claim we are treated otherwise. People, please make your point about Todd Akin and I agree completely that he has it coming, but don't do it at the expense of other survivors and the truth. That is not necessary – AT ALL!
Recently, I've written about male rape and victim blaming here:
- https://jameslandrith.com/content/view/3868/79/
- http://goodmenproject.com/on-rape-and-sexual-violence/male-rape-survivors-and-victim-blaming/
Some people really need to read it and stop contributing to rape culture mythology by making false claims about male survivors. I lived this, not the fantasy that our experiences and stories are always treated as "honest, forcible, and legitimate." Catholic survivors of clergy abuse were often portrayed as "in it for the money", men and boys raped by women are repeatedly portrayed as "lucky" and the ever present "he must be gay" undertones are often lurking in media coverage of male survivors Then, our experiences are often referred to as "having sex", "an affair", or even – "a relationship."
It simply IS NOT true, nor is it necessary to lie about male survivors or minimize our experiences in order to fight victim-blaming against female survivors. I am quite tired of the false equivalency promoted by some people everytime an asshat opens their mouth and says something stupid about women and rape. The idea that since female survivors are mistreated by some, then male survivors must have it easier is played out, tired and patently untrue. If you have to hurt millions of male rape survivors in order to help female rape survivors then you are clearly doing it wrong.
Stop it. Stop it NOW.
UPDATE:
- Mom-Blog has apologized for her initial statements regarding male survivors and victim-blaming and admitted she was in error for those comments. I don't believe she intended to be offensive or that she is a bad person at heart, but this pervasive assumption that mistreatment of female survivors = better treatment of male survivors is really getting old as of late. We need to be working together, not hurting each other.
- Danny's Corner has also weighed in on this issue: http://dannyscorneroftheuniverse.blogspot.com/2012/08/so-only-female-victims-are-demeaned.html
About James A. Landrith
James Landrith is a healing rape survivor, public speaker (RAINN and VSDVAA) on sexual violence and civil liberties, internationally syndicated blogger, civil liberties activist and the notorious editor and publisher of The Multiracial Activist (ISSN: 1552-3446) and The Abolitionist Examiner (ISSN: 1552-2881). Landrith can be reached by email at: james@jameslandrith.com or at his personal website/blog.