When I told my story online about a rape I endured many years ago, I knew it would periodically spark debate and discussion threads at various places on the 'net. After 11 years as an activist and online publisher, I've gotten used to that concept. So, as I monitor my site activity reports weekly (like most site owners) for interesting incoming links, I usually click back and given them a quick read.
Over the last few days, a new forum poll on sexual assault at the James Randi Educational Foundation (JREF) has morphed into a discussion of female on male rape. Interestingly enough, the person who started the thread is a woman who fought off a rapist, but is now calling into question the possibility of a woman raping a man.
(sigh) Here we go again with the pre-conceived notions, sexist ideas and ridiculous bigotry attached to genitalia. She goes down the old, worn path of repeating the oft circulated myths that an erection = consent, that women can't orgasm during a rape, etc. Blah, blah, blah, myth, myth, myth, lie, lie, lie…
Fortunately and surprisingly, the vast majority of the posters on that thread are not letting her get away with it, contrary to the norm when an "authoritative" female voice decides that she knows everything about male biology. Sorry if I sound a little bitter, but this ridiculous shit gets old fast.
I've not weighed in on the thread and I'm not going to either. I don't need that aggravation in my life after dealing with so many knuckle-dragging morons at Pajamas Media in July. I did read the thread at JREF from beginning to end and I'm pleasantly surprised to see how many people actually "get it" and can discuss this topic without the childishness that seemed systemic at Pajamas Media. Surprisingly, at least one other man came out with his story of being raped by a woman, another who endured CSA by his mother, in addition to several women and another man who talked of being raped by a male attacker.
If you want to read it (very strong trigger warning), the link is here:
http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?t=129384
While I am thankful that telling my story is changing some minds and sparking a healthy debate, I'm still wracked with the familiar muscle tension in my arms after reading the thread. I assume that will get easier with time…