You’re Quiet

While surfing an INTJ webring, I stumbled across this hypothetical journal entry on Brian J. Stansberry's The Mastermind:

The dreaded 2pm class. There are 30 other students in the class, and every desk is full. Luckily, you got there early enough to grab a seat in the back. The instructor is obviously late, and some preps in front of you are running their mouths without end. One of them suddenly laughs loud and hysterically, driving you closer and closer towards insanity. You imagine many ways to torment and mutilate them. The thought alone is satisfying.

"YOU ARE SO QUIET, YOU KNOW THAT?" the girl sitting next to you suddenly says to you with a smile. You wish you could find the words to explain to her that you actually enjoy thinking more than talking, but you know she will not understand. You nod and return the smile.

I can't count how many times I've heard "You're really quiet." Or, "What's wrong, you're not saying anything?" Or my all-time favorite, "Are you having fun, you don't seem to be?"

I sympathize with Brian and others like me who don't feel the need to speak to or constantly entertain every extrovert that crosses our path. I'd rather not speak if I don't feel I have anything meaningful or necessary to express. Speech for the sake of speech makes my skin crawl and my head hurt. Further, I'd rather: 

• Read a book than watch TV.
• Sleep on the train, than talk to the person next to me.
• Spend my Sundays reorganizing my files and library, than watching the Dedskins and the Towelboys once again throw around a football.
• Have intensive dental surgery without anesthesia than go to one more office picnic.

And so on, and so on. There is a big difference between an introvert like me, and a psychotic loner, like the guys in FBI profiling studies. I don't necessarily have to be alone, although I do enjoy my "me" time. It allows me an opportunity to clear my head of all the unncessary and redundant nonsense of everyday life. It allows me the opportunity to get my brain organized and the systems in order. However, if I'm spending time socially, I'd rather do it with folks who don't need to be "entertained" at every turn and are intelligent enough to not mistake silence for contempt or fear.