The Thing About Being Heard When I initially broke my silence in 2008, I was scoffed at, belittled, victim-shamed, and mocked…by alleged allies involved in anti-sexual violence activism. Yes, really. Activists are not necessarily...
Hatred of empathy, compassion, and kindness is all that MAGA and the Trump cult has to offer.
The Thing About Forced Arousal Often when someone hears about a man being sexually assaulted by a woman, the inappropriate comments and questions begin: Why did you have an erection? They are not magical...
On the way to pick up some pizza. Charles does not seem like my 80s and 90s hip-hop and rap playlist as much as I do. He needs to get off my lawn.
The Thing About Brutal Honesty When someone brags about being “brutally honest”, I hear the clear emphasis on the “brutally” portion of that statement. What I’ve learned from “brutally honest” people: Their “honesty” is...
Malignant Activism Frequently, social media discussions of male survivor concerns are met with derision from gender focused sexual violence activists. These activists often object to any mention of male victimization – by anyone –...
Impacts and Outcomes One of the most surprising outcomes of my sexual violence activism and advocacy work has been academic and media recognition of that work. One unexpected example was the inclusion of my...
Today is a lazy Sunday with a hot mug of French Roast from Lidl and a slice of apple pie while watching old Law and Order: SVU reruns in the background. I’ve seen most...
Sneaky Trauma Responses Responses to sexual assault can manifest in many unexpected ways. Sometimes, you don’t even realize a response has been triggered. During the rape I experienced in 1990, my brain dissociated as...
My Rapist’s Imaginary Tragic Backstory Upon first telling my story publicly in June 2008, I was quickly confronted with a ridiculous idea. Internet activists arrogantly informed me that my female rapist couldn’t have done...
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