As long-time readers know, I am a rape survivor and only recently began to work on healing from that long ago trauma that I had repressed for nearly two decades. In late June, I told my story publicly online in the hopes that it would help me heal and possibly assist another person who had not yet found their voice.
Today, I received an email from a female rape survivor that I wanted to share with my readers:
"Hi, you don't know me but after reading your story and learning a bit more about you I wanted to know how brave and inspiring I think you are. As a female survivor I've only just started to tell people who don't have to know after 6 years. I know how hard that's been for me and I know how much ignorant people can add to pain with their wrong and often stupid opinions. I can only guess that a male survivor feels the same things a female one does and then some more because of social ignorance. I think you have shown extreme strength in sharing your story with the whole world. You are helping to raise awareness in a much denied area. You story will help survivors (male and female) everywhere,it will also help the loved ones of survivors understand that these things don't always happen how people expect. I am greatly moved by your actions,if you can be brave enough to tell the world then maybe I can be a little braver in my daily life. I had lots of issues with naming my rape,but I doubt I had as many as you. I also had to deal with doubt and the judgement of uninformed idiots,I imagine this has been more so for you. I think you are a very strong and brave person. I think you are an inspiration. I hope one day I can be as brave as you and do something to help raise awareness of this disgusting crime (I need to get a lot stronger first!). You are an amazing survivor and I wish you well on your healing journey."
On the days when I feel violated all over again and just want to scream at the top of my lungs at the inhumanity of worthless, victim-blaming rape apologists and enablers, I get a message like the one above.
And it makes my day. This is why I told my story publicly. This is why I endured the shamers, emasculators and apologists. This is why I will not cower in silence any more.
My correspondent has no idea how much her message means to me. When I spoke out, I was speaking for me. I was speaking for her. I was speaking for hundreds of thousands of silent survivors who have not yet found their voice.
And after 18 years of silence, I refuse to shut up for anyone anymore...
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