As a male survivor with a female rapist, I often hear from women who have been victimized by other women. The stigma, denial and utter disregard shown victims of female predation is rampant and the effect is devastating on victims. Key themes are deflection, trivialization, mockery and outright denial.
I always make a point to include female survivors of female rapists in my advocacy talks and presentations as a speaker. I simply assume that my audiences have at least a few women who had similar experiences. On occasion, I’ve been invited to speak specifically because the organizer wanted a speaker who had experienced sexual assault at the hands of a woman. Often, I will hear from female survivors after events or through email sent days or even weeks later. This is a topic that has long been ignored, minimized or outright mocked.
Contrary to popular opinion, the denial, mockery and trivialization comes not only from men, but women as well. No gender has mastered the art of empathy with regard to female rapists and predators. My own experience as a speaker has taught me that trust regarding this classification of sexual violence is to be earned, not expected – even from other advocates and survivors.