Survivor Advocacy is Real Work (or I’m Not Your Dancing Monkey)

Dance, you monkeys
10b travelling / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

When I consent to an interview (e.g., CNN, HuffPostLive, Role/Reboot, etc.) I’m doing so as a rape survivor performing advocacy, education and outreach. My intent is to create awareness, change attitudes and offer validation to other survivors.

I’m not working for the entertainment and abuse of idiots, knuckle-dragging troglodytes, low information morons with no desire to learn, people who shouldn’t have internet access, or gender warriors with an ideological blindspot or axe to grind (regardless of gender identification).  I’m not working for the haters.

I’m not engaging with people who aren’t worth my time or effort. I no longer read the comments on the stories that mention my work or quote me for interviews. If you are hoping to harass me there, give it up. I’m not joining the party. My life, my mental health and my future are worth more to me than proving some pitiful manchild, or arrogant woman wrong about male rape survivors. The people I’m trying to reach are not full of hate, not proud of their ignorance, nor are they looking to harm others with words or physical violence. They are mature adults with emotional intelligence and actually worthy of the time I spend on them when they reach out in earnest.

I’m doing this for the other men and women suffering in silence and feeling invalidated by a world that mocks and blame survivors of sexual violence, while defending predators and blaming the victim. I’m doing this for the man who has held it in for 30 years and wants to put his fist through the wall when he remembers it. I’m doing it for the woman who was victim-blamed by her own mother and father when she told on her abuser. I’m doing it for the survivor who lacks a voice. I’m doing it for those who are still silent and feel they have no future.

I’m not doing it to entertain the haters and those who revel in their ignorant arrogance. They lack humanity. They lack basic social skills. They lack compassion. They are not worth a single second of my time. 

You can either contribute or tear down. I choose to contribute.

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