I've had my ass kicked online, mocked, taunted and told I was to blame for being raped so much this week I can't tell friend from foe anymore. I spent most of Monday in panic attacks after reading the venomous comments at PJM and on Roy Edroso's childish little blog. I did not expect to become the whipping boy of both the left and right, men and women for simply revealing a painful experience publicly that I thought would help other men who were struggling in silence find their voice.
Well, the tide has turned dramatically against the rape apologists and cyber bullies at PJM . Several have acknowledged they were wrong or just ran away when they could no longer dominate through sheer numbers and brute power. Voices of reason and fellow rape/CSA survivors now dominate the discussion and the mob is no longer shouting everyone else down with their childish insults, tragic logic errors and general lack of knowledge about rape and sexual assualt.
Even with everything I've put up with this week, I still feel a sense of relief at no longer keeping this secret. It is out in the world and I don't have to own it anymore. 17 years was long enough.
After my story became public, Roy went out of his way to mock me, question my manhood and deliberately change/omit key details of my rape experience to fit a straw-man he shamefully constructed at my expense. These are not the actions of an honest man. Those who've known me since childhood remember that I was smaller than most of my classmates and endured years of relentless bullying that was often physical. This forced me to learn how to deal with adversity and predatory individuals in a manner that ensured my own survival. I've seen the behaviour of the Roy Edrosos of the world up front and close. Roy clearly relishes his role as cyber-bully and is quite used to getting away with it. However, he picked the wrong target this time.
I am not going to let this go. I'm not going to chuckle at the stupid clown.
For those who don't know, I'm what is known as a left-libertarian. I'm not a conservative, a hawk, a neo-fascist or some mindless killing machine just because I served in the Corps, but I'm guessing that is what the bigoted Edroso and his ilk believe.
The crazy thing about Roy's attacks on me is he and I would probably agree on quite a lot of political issues, given the civil liberties work I've chosen to perform over the last 10 years. Instead, he has turned a possible ally into a permanent enemy through his immaturity and insecurities which he masks through "humor."
So, for those who are wondering and are just visiting me for the first time, don't believe the hype from the haters. Just ask me. Where do I stand on the following?
And so on..
I'm betting Roy agrees with me on most of these issues. However, instead of finding solidarity and support based on shared ideals, he mocks me for being a rape survivor.
At the end of my days, I will have left a legacy of national and international civil liberties advocacy that I hope will result in a better tomorrow for those who survive me. At the very least, I will die knowing I tried to make the world a little more free.
What does Roy Edroso do?
He mocks me for getting help to deal with a traumatic event I suppressed for years until it forced itself on me recently.
How will he be remembered by history?
At the end of the day, his contribution to the world will be some rather ordinary political commentaries and a childish, sarcastic blog that frequently targets females, often gets basic facts completely wrong and has now mocked a rape survivor for seeking counseling to deal with a traumatic event.
I have to say, this makes him appear less human and a whole hell of a lot less credible.
Admitting It: When a Woman is the Rapist: http://jameslandrith.com/content/view/3148/79/
An Education in the Politics of Rape: http://jameslandrith.com/content/view/3149/79/
Action vs. Acting Out: http://jameslandrith.com/content/view/3152/79/